This system is vital because human children would simply not survive without caregivers investing time and energy devoting themselves to their growth and wellbeing. Parents, extended families and communities, use a solid set of instinctual brain urges to nurture the young and those in need. Receiving effective CARE early on creates healthy offspring, and healthy communities, to grow and thrive.
“It only takes one woman to bear a child, but it takes a whole village to raise it”
Effective CARE systems encourage interdependence, growth and development of individuals, couples, families and communities – they are flexible and responsive to need, pragmatic not dogmatic.
Activation and Expression
An activated CARE system brings people closer together. It can be shown in a variety of ways including taking care of physical or emotional well being, showing affection, and responding to feedback. The most effective expression of the CARE system involves consistency and tender, loving long-term involvement. Getting the balance between caring for others and looking after self as well as being cared for is also important for the healthy expression of this system – i.e. balance of SEEKING and CARE systems.
Mild activation of this system leads to…
A desire to show care and affection, we may feel warmth rising in our torso and a desire to do something caring or to connect with the other person.
Intense activation of this systems leads to…
A strong urge to care for the other, feeling activated in our body and yearn to touch, stroke or hold the other person, or to be near to them, we may feel a desire to know more about them / know them better.
Blocked or over active expression
This occurs when CARE leads to control, stifling the other rather than caring for them; or the CARE system is not active when it is needed causing neglect of the other or the self.
Mild: Nagging, discouraging independence or encouraging dependence. Not accepting care from others well or caring for self. Making them laugh and addressing their physical or emotional needs.
Intense: Caring too much for others, fostering dependence or squashing others independence, whilst not responding to own needs; being unable to put own needs first; or blocking caring responses. Not letting others take responsibility.