“Tell me how you feel and I will tell you who you are…”

Posted on Posted in CARE system, Emotional Systems, Expressing emotions, FEAR / SAFETY, GRIEF / CONNECTION, RAGE / ASSERTIVE

A fabulous talk about the adaptive expression and experience of emotions by an inspiring EDT therapist, trainer and researcher, Ole Andre Solbakken at TEDxOslo 

During this thoughtful talk, we learn more about the value of noticing and communicating our emotions, the impact that this has on our mental health, self esteem, personality, capacity to work and on our relationships.  He shares that emotions are essential for:

  • Good mental health
  • High psychological functioning
  • Low psychiatric symptoms
  • High self esteem
  • High overall functioning (work, school)
  • Healthy personality traits
  • More satisfying relationships

Relating this talk to the emotional systems we discuss here – he tells us what we can expect if we are dealing well or poorly with specific emotional systems.

Emotional system Dealing well with this system we are more likely to… Dealing poorly with this system we are more likely to be…
CARE Have trusting relationships with others Hostile, detached and socially avoidant
GRIEF Have an active and friendly interpersonal style Hostile, cold and avoidant
RAGE Represent oneself in a healthy fashion and set clear boundaries for others Exploitable, unassertive and socially inhibited

“The way you deal with your feelings defines how you act in relation to others… defines your personality… defines who you are.” Ole Andre Solbakken, 2nd May 2016.


Watch it and share your comments below.  If you would like to find out more about the research he discusses, he has shared the main references from the talk with us, with another one to follow when it is published very soon.  So far:

Izard, C. E. (1991). The psychology of emotions. Springer Science & Business Media.

Myllyniemi, R. (1997). The interpersonal circle and the emotional undercurrents of human sociability. In Plutchik, R. E., & Conte, H. R. Circumplex models of personality and emotions. American Psychological Association.

Normann-Eide, E., Johansen, M. S., Normann-Eide, T., Egeland, J., & Wilberg, T. (2013). Is low affect consciousness related to the severity of psychopathology? A cross-sectional study of patients with avoidant and borderline personality disorder. Comprehensive psychiatry, 54(2), 149-157.

Solbakken, O. A., Hansen, R. S., Havik, O. E., & Monsen, J. T. (2011). Assessment of affect integration: Validation of the affect consciousness construct. Journal of personality assessment, 93(3), 257-265.

Solbakken, O. A., Hansen, R. S., Havik, O. E., & Monsen, J. T. (2012). Affect integration as a predictor of change: Affect consciousness and treatment response in open-ended psychotherapy. Psychotherapy Research, 22(6), 656-672.

Thanks Ole Andre, keep up the inspiring work!

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